The Rumor

I’ll just assume that no one would be crazy enough to think I actually know what I’m talking about, and hope anyone would have enough sense to know that this story can’t possibly be anything other than a fairy tale. But from where I’m sitting, it all makes perfect sense.

There’s a rumor been going ’round. But it’s not the kind of rumor you take out in public to air among the gossipy folks. It’s one of those under-the-covers, back room rumors that you only hear in whispers with the lights turned off.
Well, I was hangin’ around in the back room the other night in the dark under a bunch of blankets when someone came up and whispered something in my ear, and this is what they said. But you’re not gonna believe it.

I heard that Calhoun County has a shadow government. A few rich and powerful folks behind the scenes, pulling all the strings and giving all the orders. They’re the ones who REALLY control everything that happens ’round here. The ones the local “authorities” REALLY work for. There is a lot of money changing hands. Oh, it’s your typical shadow government alright. They have their little secret meetings with all the county officials and they hand out their orders. They are the ones who REALLY make all the decisions about what they’ll allow and not allow in their county. This fancy gang of powerful money people, they run a nice tight operation. They can’t have anybody finding out about them or interfering with their operations, you understand. There’s too much money riding on it. And if an “elected” official or a police officer won’t do as they are told, they can be and are regularly punished, humiliation being the favored method.

The mayor, the commissioners, the police, judge, prosecuting attorney, all of them are just puppets of the shadow government. They appear to you and me like they are running things, but they’re not. Not really. And most of them don’t even know what’s really going on. They just go on following orders from “higher up” and never even think about it. They figure they’re just “doin’ their jobs.” And if anybody actually TOLD ’em what’s really going on they’d NEVER believe it.

Well, then that whispering voice in the dark told me that one of the biggest and best kept secrets is that the shadow government of the county is getting it’s money partly from drug dealing and partly from the sale of “evidence” confiscated in busts and various other crimes, past and present. And they don’t like competition either. Takes money out of the pocket, you know. That’s why there are so many folks getting busted who just grow a little something for their own personal use. They’re not part of the money/drug operation so they have to be stopped. Makes a good show. Makes it look like the cops are doing something.

Of course, the shadow government can’t buy and sell the drugs personally, or the other items like the confiscated guns and whatnot, because they are much too secretive and cannot take the chance of being caught. So they decided to allow certain known drug dealers in the community to operate with impunity so long as they are properly connected in this secret drug ring web. Many of the actual drug dealers themselves don’t even realize that they are a part of some bigger picture of manipulation and corruption. They think they’re just “doin’ their jobs”. And if anybody let ’em in on the secret, they’d just say you been havin’ way too much fun.

I heard that many amazing and unbelievable methods of accomplishing their goals are used, in an attempt to completely control the pesky citizens who live ’round here. Long and sinister plans are conjured up in extreme detail, using the citizens like they were playing pieces in a giant monopoly game. Experts in psychology are called in and long lists of computerized statistics are consulted in order to play the game to it’s fullest and come as close as possible to obtaining their desired results. One reason that this is so important is that ALL the counties have their OWN shadow governments and they find great sport in BETTING large sums of money on the outcome of these games of power with no regard whatsoever to the actual lives of their playing pieces. Us in other words.

Which brings us to the big problem. The one that threatened to bring about their total destruction by exposing their evil intent. The thing that could bring to light their sinister plan to control the world. ‘Cause that’s what they are REALLY trying to do. And strangely enough, this big enemy of theirs is one of the main things they use
to finance their evil little club. DRUGS.
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Now I would never have believed this part myself when I heard it if I wouldn’t of actually KNOWN some folks that seen it with their own eyes. And I’ve been in enough places in my life to know stuff like this is POSSIBLE, maybe. Anyhow, I’ll be damned if I can figure out a better explanation.

Well, seems that the shadow government figured out that people LIKED getting a buzz, seemed to be kind of a NATURAL thing. So at first they figured it would be a real good way to control all the folks that RELIGION didn’t work on. And it was easy too, all they had to do was make the drugs AVAILABLE, and folks just fall all over themselves to get hold of the stuff. The shadow government makes a ton of money from all the buyin’ and selling, and I guess it seemed to them like it kept most folks high, happy and stupid enough to keep control of for the most part. So they just went on doing what they were doing because of all that money comin’ in and all that control it gave ’em, even tho they discovered a great big problem. An enigma, really. One of those things that totally messes up your whole THING. The dilemma, the thing they didn’t figure on ’til it was too late, is that all those drugs don’t always behave just the way you want them to for maximum anesthetic value.

Stuff like alcohol’s easy. Most folks like it, keeps ’em stupid, easy to manuver. Gives the cops something to do. Brings in lots of money. So they made that “legal”.

Well, they thought pot would keep folks tranquil and easy to handle at first, but then they found out it tended to make folks a little TOO smart and the people who smoked it started figuring out that there was something goin’ on that wasn’t quite right. But it brought in so much money that they decided to keep it around but declare it “illegal”, and use the media to make people who use it appear like fried eggs.

And LSD, it made people WAY too smart and they began to actually SEE some of the secrets that the shadow government was trying so hard to hide from everybody. They began to understand how it all worked and even discovered who some of the shadow government people really were. It became quite dangerous to the cause and a threat to national security, but it brought in so much money that they just labeled everybody who did THAT as “psychotic” so no one would take them seriously.

And then there’s what they call “opiates”, made outta poppies somehow or another. That’s what put Dorothy and Toto and all their friends to sleep in the Wizard of OZ on the way to the Emerald city. The shadow government started using opiates more and more as the ultimate in a human manipulation substance. They make a FORTUNE on opiates, so even tho folks who use them usually end up on foodstamps, at least they are very docile and they don’t question anything.

But the drug that very nearly ruined the whole thing was METH. Ended up being sort of like the JOKER in a card game. Wild card. Oh, they thought they could use it to get things done quick. Good things, bad things, didn’t matter. You just had to figure into the equasion that it’s like revving an engine up too fast for too long, and THOSE playin’ pieces would burn up quicker than most, so you had to use ’em fast. But there’s one thing they didn’t figure on. Now I’m gonna say this, and like I said, I KNOW people who KNOW, but I’m still having a hard time believin’ it myself.

Well, folks I know discovered that if they took ENOUGH meth for a long enough time, they could live in the SPIRIT WORLD, and if they did LOTS of meth, they could stay there indefinately. I guess the spirit world is really a pretty scary place so I don’t understand why, but alot of those folks started tryin’ to stay in the spirit world ALL THE TIME so they could have plenty of time to study it and FIGURE OUT what was really going on.

Now it gets wierd. It turns out that there are lots of spirit beings living in the spirit world and those spirit beings told everybody they came in contact with that they work hand in hand with either god or the devil, depending, and there is no way to know which at any given time ’cause they’re so unpredictable. They also work for the FBI. Well, the FBI is pretty damn closely connected to those shadow government folks too. They’re all in cahoots together. Scratch each others backs and all. So, those darned spirit beings just simply let the cat right out of the bag and told everything. Luckily most of the meth users were going too fast to get it. And the cops were so busy trying to deal with all those whacked out meth heads that they never believed any of it, even tho it was plain as the nose on their faces. Just think what might have happened if they would have caught on!

Well, believe it or not, those spirit beings are called “shadow people” by those in the know. And it turns out that the shadow people are there SPECIFICALLY to help the shadow government do its evil hidden work. Sort of like Santa’s elves only different.

Now, meth was created for some very specific reasons, and the people “in charge” were told not to use it unless there was an emergency and to keep it secret. But Meth, by it’s very nature, causes people to not be able to keep secrets very well. Matter of fact, it’s like a damn truth sirum. And it kind of gets under a fellas skin. Makes ’em feel POWERFUL, and extra smart. Makes him feel like a god or something. I dunno. Anyhow, pretty soon the people figured out how to MAKE meth for themselves, and decided to go against the wishes of the shadow government, because they felt like it wouldn’t hurt anything. The shadow government began to lose control over the monster they had created, their workers out in plain sight, not hiding any more, but actually hanging around keeping the meth heads busy doing many useless things for days, and giving away all their secrets. So, the shadow government has had their hands full ever since, trying to figure out how to fix what they screwed up. And that was one doozy of a screwup. It’s just like cockroaches, they created the damn things and now they can’t get rid of ’em.

So, now there’s just too many people out there that have a clue that there might be some kind-a CONSPIRACY goin’ on. Oh, there is alot of suspicion in one direction or another. Some folks actually got it figured out, but they don’t dare to say much for fear someone will think they’re crazy. Actually they even wrote a book about it a long time ago, but so many people disagreed on how to write it that alot of the stories were left out and the end’s kind of sketchy, so they still have plenty of time to fix things.

I heard that they have a big plan to get the game back on track. It sounds like it might work. First thing they have to do is finish getting rid of all that damn meth so they can get the shadow people back under control. Out of sight out of mind so to speak. And being as how they’re all just drug addicts anyhow, nobody’ll take ’em seriously, right? The other part of the plan has something to do with why they’re so damn interested in keepin’ religion out of the court house and the schools, making church goin’ folks look like superstitious nutjobs, obsessing over if there’s a difference between evolution and creationism or not, and at the same time preachin’ that everything that happens, good or bad, is “gods will”… Confuse ’em good. That’s part of the plan.

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Yea, I hear that’s the other big thing. That’s how they operate. That’s how they keep things moving and shaking. It’s how they keep the game interesting. Confuse everybody. Confuse ’em in a million different ways. Make it where nothing makes any sense. (I bet that’s how they can keep on running their drug business and still have ’em be “illegal”.) I guess confusing folks has always been the main plan for covering their asses, ever since the shadow government first started. I remember hearing that a LONG time ago, way back in shadow government history, there was a story about knocking down some tower in someplace called Babylon, but I think what they really meant was figuring out a way to shut down somebody who knew too much by confusing the heck out of them and making them look stupid…. If you were in the military you’d probably call it “good strategy”. ‘Cause if you can keep folks totally confused, you can hide things right in front of ’em and they don’t know what they’re lookin’ at. Makes it easier to work when you’re part of a secret society.

You know, I’m almost starting to become a believer, the more I think about it and the more I hear all these secret rumors in the dark. Even the really crazy sounding ones. ‘Cause rumor or not, it’s the only explaination that makes a whole lot of sense, actually.

The only trouble with whispered rumors is sometimes folks only get part of the story and it makes it sort of hard to follow. So, I’m gonna tell this one more to the best of my understanding before I quit, and I can’t say as to whether all of it’s true or not. But I think I got the main gist of it.

Seems it’s got something to do with the fact that when it gets right down to it, the folks in the shadow government aren’t really so much different from you and me, which means they sometimes don’t agree on everything. And hard as they’ve tried to get along all this time, there ended up being two different groups who just couldn’t see eye to eye no matter what, and they spent a great deal of time disagreeing about just about everything. Total opposites, matter of fact. Well, I guess they must have spent an awful long time trying to figure out how to get along at all, and I guess they learned a thing or two. So, if I understand it right, to begin with they worked real hard to get all us crazy, superstitious humans focused on RELIGION as our main superstition, so that we’d all be easier to control. Remember I said they used drugs on folks that religion didn’t work on? Well, they tried just using religion and superstition and such, figuring it was all about the same thing anyhow. And it worked for a really long time. People just went on about their business, doin’ their jobs and going to church, and if there was some issue or problem in the shadow government, they could just use religion to cover it up. Folks just figured it was GOD or the DEVIL doin’ the dirty work, and didn’t question it any more. Real handy cover, and I figure those shadow government folks really liked the idea of being worshipped… In fact it was such good cover that nobody figured it out for a really long time. Most folks still haven’t. Even when it became obvious that there was more than one religion, it still worked, ’cause the feud going on between the two different factions of the shadow government made it all look perfectly natural. Yea, it worked great. Total confusion, lots of opportunity for humiliation and a great way to get all those playing pieces jumpin’ all over the place…

And then of course drugs came along and messed things all up. And about the time folks decided to mix drugs and religion, the secret very nearly got out and it’s been a constant aggrivation for the shadow government ever since. Because if everybody really figured out their little dark, nasty secret, they’d lose all their control, all bets would be off, and they’d probably lose ALL their money too, ’cause there’d be HELL to pay.

So, as unbelievable as all this sounds, I’d bet all MY money that it’s a story that’s pretty darned close to being accurate. And if it is, then it’s a REALLY BIG DEAL! All this top secret information could be a super duper, major life changing, earth shattering thing, and it’s required an awful lot of serious thought on my part. It seems like there’s something pretty sinister going on, and it looks as if it’s impossible to escape, but sometimes looks can be deceiving. I’m not gonna give any advice on the subject, ’cause I don’t want to be humiliated myself. But as far as what effect this story will have on ME, well, personally I don’t care WHAT they want to call themselves, or WHO works for them, or how damn much money and power they have. I don’t care if they’re layin’ bets or feudin’ and divided right down the middle, good and bad. And I don’t care how bad they don’t want any body to catch on to who they REALLY are. Far as I can see, it doesn’t matter WHO they are, ’cause they all sleep in the same bed anyhow. The most important thing is just knowing they exist and that they’re NOT your friends! Yup, I’d rather KNOW who my enemy is, and I’d rather not be controlled by anybody but myself, thank you very much. So, after much thought on the subject, I’ve decided. I’m gonna stay the heck AWAY from church…